Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

Google Sells Organic, Prepares for Acquisition


For years now, Google and Yahoo have been making a significant portion of their income on the paid sponsored ads to the right of the search listings, and that is about to expand. Google has recently discovered a loop-hole in anti-trust legislation which will allow for the ultimate sale of organic rankings – the catch – they must partner with Yahoo.

Current laws do not allow for paid sponsorship of unlabeled organic listings; however Google has found a way around this – by spidering and indexing paid listings at competing site Yahoo, and including them within their own search results.

Google will soon start to spider and index select ads posted through the Yahoo Search Marketing platform, and rank them within Google’s own organic results. These paid ads will be given an artificially high ranking and will appear at the top of the organic results – appearing as free listings to searchers. Google will receive 80% on the per-click spend; this in itself may sound great, but it barely scratches the surface.

In order for Yahoo Advertisers to open up their ads to Google, they will need to pay a monthly service fee, of which Google will take the lion’s share. While the actual dollar amount for these fees has not been officially released, industry experts are anticipating the flat rate fee to be well in excess of $10,000/month – a small price to pay for first place ranking in a competitive industry.

It is expected that the increased revenue from this initiative will result in a boost in Google’s market value by as much as 30% in as little as a year; however, this may be an understatement given a 21% jump in Google’s stock shortly after markets opened this morning (increasing by $81.01 to $424.37).

Google Stock Value, April 1, 2009

This is only one of a number of plans that Google has for the very near future in order to ramp up its overall market value. With a looming sale to occur in April of 2010, Google wants to ensure that they get top dollar. Earlier this week, the next phase of buy-out negotiations was reported between Google and the White House with an agreement in principle that the US government will pay fair market value in April of next year.

Google has become one of the biggest players in the technological world, but lesser known is its growth as a high-level power in the political world and the US government wants control of this power. This potential government acquisition of the search giant is no big surprise given the extensive bank of in-depth information Google has amassed over the years.

“Google has been selling information to the US government now for several years,” Frederick Grinder, head of Google’s Secret Search Team, noted in a press conference early this morning. “An acquisition seems like a natural step.”

Several years ago, Google was fined $15.5 Billion by the World Court for unleashing a virus-like spider that infiltrated many world-wide government databases and amassed an immense amount of sensitive information. (You didn’t think that Google actually paid $2.2 billion for YouTube, $3.1 billion for DoubleClick, and billions more for others did you? These were merely cover-ups for the fine). While part of the court order was to have this data permanently deleted, many conspiracy theorists believe that Google still holds all this information, and the US government wants unrestricted access. The only way to secure this access is through full ownership of Google.

You’ve probably heard of Google Webmaster Tools, well Google also has Google People; A complex database consisting of confidential information on the vast majority of the world’s population accessible only to those with high-level clearance. Google knows what you bought using your super market discount card, they know what you charge to your Visa, they know your SSI and all your personal numbers, and they have all your internet passwords. For the US government to have access to all this same information they can significantly expand their anti-terrorism campaign which began during the Bush administration.

“With the help of our top secret satellite imagery and foreign personnel files we were instrumental in the capture of Saddam Hussein – with unrestricted access there is no telling how far the US can go to increase the safety of our nation,” Grinder went on to say.

We will continue to keep you informed as this story develops. In the mean time, have a wonderful April 1st.

18 Responses to “Google Sells Organic, Prepares for Acquisition”

  1. Jeffrey

    Please tell me this is an April fools joke.

  2. Drabdesign

    It will be a sad day if this ever happens. People use Google because the rankings tend to give the correct search result. By doing this, they (Google) will become bigger and SEO will be history at the expense of PPC.

    Guess I had better retrain!

  3. Anonymous

    the first two paragraphs had me going!

  4. Kev


    Very funny april fools joke, u nearly got me!!

  5. Anonymous

    i think that charging for organic search position is a horrible thing to do! Google used to feel that the organic search was a fair and honest way of allowing small companies to compete with the large ones. This was and always will be the only fair practice for google and any search engine leaving the side and top positions for the people that can afford to pay for the often high priced pay per clicks. I feel that this will hurt google bad after a new search engine appears offering fair organic placement for all people. Google needs to think and be fair to the millions of hard working small website business owners trying to feed his or her family! I’m one of them!

  6. Jake

    Thanks the laugh. Happy April 1st to all. It will be a very sad day if it’s true.

  7. Myrtle Beach Web Design

    Ah, you did get me! Down to talking about the government, anyway. This is a classic!

  8. Anonymous

    Can you spell Monopoly. What was some what of a even playing field.
    Now turns out could be the wealthy survive and the competitive market place is gone. They did not make enough dollars with fraudulent click through. Now they have to take it one step further..The words I can spell are Greed and Avarice

  9. T Edly

    I hope this is not some king of sic joke because It just sent out a customer service email out to all our customers warning them of this privacy issue. We sent 567,000 today!

  10. Anonymous

    Great Spoof! Made my day. Although I did hear that President Obama had decided to fire the president of Google!!!!

  11. Scott Van Achte

    Well, for those of you out there who are a little freaked out by this and didn’t catch on that it is an April Fools Joke, well, it is of course a joke – I hope everyone enjoyed it.

    To “T Edly”, great try there trying to trick the tricker, but looking at your URL as “Walmart” I am quite confident your reply is also a joke. (I am certain that Walmart would do a little due diligence before sending out mass communications to customers) Great reply though, made me smile :)

  12. T Edly

    This was a great post and I had fun participating in the comments.

  13. chriscd

    Nice one. I was starting to think you were serious until the $10,000 fee. Good job on April Fools.

  14. Anonymous

    Googles Algorithm already SUCKS as it lacks common sense and no longer awards enough points to long standing company’s that own quality websites with domain names that are a direct match to the search term as it should be! I’m not surprised that Googles greed will screw the small business web business owner. History shows us that many other search engines and directories have fell to greed which has caused every one of them to go out of business or to lose the majority of their market share! This may be a joke today but I bet that google will soon repeat this history of greed and topple over!

  15. Drabdesign

    Decided to retrain after all! I have a summer job doing Donkey rides at the beach.

    Now if only I could sell off the manure! Must use Yahoo to advertise it!

  16. Chris

    My SEO work has given my company, hundreds of Google first page SERP listings. I took your $10,000 per keyword to my boss, showed her the true value of my work and asked for a raise!

    (She said she would get back to me.)

  17. Scott Van Achte

    Good luck, I hope you get your $10,000 per month raise!

    I just picked that number out of thin air, I wanted a number that was somewhat believable, but ridiculous at the same time, but the truth is, for some industries, being #1 would definitely be worth that kind of money, in some industries, I am sure you could take that up 10 or even 100 fold and still have it be incredibly profitable (other industries, not so much)

  18. Anonymous

    Quote: “i think that charging for organic search position is a horrible thing to do!”

    April the First!!! LOL :)

    It is not organic if it is paid for.

    Google are only so big, (huge that is), because of organic free listings which give Google content that users are looking for.

    Google Knowledge. Google Information Click Here

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